DEAR ABBY: Is it all right for a family member to eavesdrop on a conversation on the extension line?
The other day, my husband and I picked up the phone at the same time. It was my mother calling to chat and to ask a question. Although the call was clearly for me, my husband remained on the line because, he said, he had a question for her when I was done with the conversation.
I contend that this was rude, as I didn't know he hadn't hung up the other phone. He contends that he had a right to listen because it is his house, and he can listen in if he wants.
Although nothing of a personal nature was discussed, I still think he should have given me my privacy and asked me to let him know when Mom and I were done talking so he could ask his question. This has caused a major rift in our family. Please respond.
-Nancy
Belmont, Calif.
DEAR NANCY: When a spouse starts using the old "I can do it if I want because it's my house" line, it's usually because he/she knows he/she is wrong. I don't know whether your husband is a bully or simply has no life of his own, but eavesdropping is a very unpleasant trait. And in the interest of family harmony, he should cut it out. (more)
He should cut it out?!?! Abby, what were you thinking? Non-consensual eavesdropping is a federal and state crime! Criminal and civil penalties apply, and the days of spousal immunity for eavesdropping are pretty much history. The "my house, my phone" party line does not mean "my conversation." It was not his conversation. There was no consent. What if he punched her? Would you buy his "my wife, my chattel" baloney?
